Forget Habits: Why You Don't Need a Perfect Morning Routine to Change Your Life

Luzia Lifecoach
Aug 11
4 min read

We need to talk about habits.

Not the cute kind (like your dog’s habit of giving you a paw when he wants a treat) or the gross kind (like biting your nails when nervous). I’m talking about the Big Life-Changing Habits, the ones productivity gurus promise will transform you into a millionaire with abs and a 5 am meditation ritual. You know the ones. Wake up at dawn, drink lemon water, journal your goals, do yoga, cold plunge, write a chapter of your book, read 10 pages of a self-help classic… all before 7 a.m. The Holy Grail of habits, made famous by books like Atomic Habits, The Power of Habit, and a million Instagram posts reminding you that “success is just a habit away.” But here’s a truth bomb: Most people don’t like habits. Most people don’t stick to habits. And maybe, just maybe, that’s not a personal failure.

Forget Habits: Why You Don't Need a Perfect Morning Routine to Change Your Life

Why Are Habits So Hard to Start (and Stick To)?

Because life is unpredictable. Because you’re human. Because the dishwasher broke, your kid got sick, your boss emailed you at 10 p.m., and your brain just wants to lie down and scroll TikTok. Habits rely on repetition. But repetition requires consistency. And consistency demands time, energy, mental space, motivation, and, frankly, privilege. It’s a lot to ask of someone who’s already stretched thin. Also, the brain doesn’t instantly rewire itself just because you wrote “journal daily” in your planner. Habits take effort before they become automatic, and if you're exhausted, stressed, or overwhelmed, it's easy to fall off the wagon and never climb back on.

What’s Wrong with the “Habits Fix Everything” Obsession?

1. It assumes we’re machines."Just program the right habits and BOOM! Life optimized." But you're not a robot. You’re a messy, emotional, beautifully inconsistent human being with moods, needs, and seasons.

2. It often ignores context. A habit that works for a single 25-year-old entrepreneur in Bali might not work for a single mom juggling work and school in New Jersey. And that’s okay.

3. It creates shame. When habits don’t stick, people don’t say “maybe this system wasn’t right for me.” They say “I’m lazy,” “I suck at routines,” “I’ll never change.” That kind of thinking is soul-crushing.

4. It’s boring. Seriously. How many times can you reward yourself for flossing before you just want to binge Netflix with snacks instead?

5. It turns self-improvement into a job. You start living life like a checklist. Habits become your boss. And you? Just the underpaid employee of your own ambitions.

So What Can You Do Instead of Building Habits?

Here’s the good news: you don’t need rigid, color-coded routines to make meaningful changes in your life. There are other, dare I say more joyful, ways to grow.

1. Follow your energy, not a schedule. Instead of forcing a habit at the same time every day, ask: When do I naturally feel like doing this? Do you love walking at sunset? Prefer journaling before bed? Align your actions with your natural rhythms, not some influencer’s calendar.

2. Play with identity, not discipline. Instead of saying, “I need to force myself to work out,” try, “What would a person who loves movement do today?” Let your actions stem from curiosity and self-expression, not obligation.

3. Make it meaningful. Tie actions to your values, not just goals. You don’t need to journal because someone on YouTube said it’s life-changing. Do it if it helps you feel grounded, creative, or connected to yourself. Skip it if it doesn’t.

4. Experiment instead of commit.Try something for a week just to see what happens. No pressure to make it “a habit.” It’s just a mini adventure. Then reflect. Did it make your life better? If yes, keep it. If no, toss it. Like trying on outfits for your soul.

5. Romanticize the moment. Make the action pleasurable. Light a candle when you write. Put on a playlist while you stretch. Pour your coffee into your favorite mug. You’re more likely to do things that feel delicious than those that feel like chores.

6. Track feelings, not just behaviors. Instead of obsessing over checkboxes, keep a “feel good log.” What made you feel calm, proud, joyful, alive? Do more of that. Let your emotions be your compass.

Real Change Doesn’t Look Like a Spreadsheet

Here’s the quiet truth most productivity books skip: Transformation doesn’t always come from daily, repeated behaviors. Sometimes it comes from a shift in how you see yourself. You don’t need perfect habits to become a healthier, more fulfilled, more aligned version of you. You need:

Self-awareness.

Compassion.

Curiosity.

A sprinkle of chaos.

And permission to do it your way.

So the next time you skip your routine, ditch the guilt. You’re not failing, you’re just figuring out what fits your actual life. And that, my friend, is the most powerful practice of all.